Dennis Golay has been a client of The Desert AIDS Project for eighteen years. During that time he’s volunteered in many areas serving D.A.P. clients. On July 3, 2007 he suffered what he then believed was a mild heart attack. Three days later, following nearly eight grueling hours on the operating table, splayed open like a butter flied shrimp, and on total life support, he awoke on the other side of an event that few men survive. This is his story, told in his own words:
Would you tell me about your heart attack?
In July of 2007, a pain in my left side woke me around 4:30 AM. I also had a lighter pain in my lower left arm. When I walked around, it went away. Except something was still there, nagging at my body. I’d suffered arm pain months earlier while my partner and I were in Italy. It went away, too, after a while.
Luckily, I had a doctor’s appointment that day. I told my doctor about the pain. The ekg showed that I was still having a heart attack.
I was in emergency at Desert Regional in less than ten minutes. The angiogram said that I did have venal obstructions. That was the good news.
The bad news was they were so bad that angioplasty and stents wouldn’t work, which left only open heart surgery. They estimated a three hour surgery to do a triple bypass.
Once in, however, three became five, a quintuple bypass, and I was in surgery for seven and a half hours.
You had no idea prior to then, that you were suffering Coronary Artery Disease?
No, I didn’t. I was on a drug regimen that elevated my cholesterol a little and my triglycerides a whole lot. I didn’t even know what triglycerides were, but I do now.
Other AIDS patients of my doctor on similar regimens with similar numbers had had no problems. There was every reason to believe that the numbers were drug induced, and not really a heart attack producing thing. In my case, though, it was.
My surgeon, however, told me about some of his other patients with AIDS, many much younger than me, I was 59, who had similar situations.
To me it was a new phenomenon, but obviously not to him.
Do you know why your doctor didn’t order an angiogram prior to your heart event, given your high triglycerides?
That’s a good question. I don’t know for certain, but I believe that even though my doctor is HIV/AIDS certified and has a fairly extensive HIV case load he had only a tiny amount HIV/AIDS heart attack issues in his client base.
He’d seen a little of this, but there really was no reason to believe I was any different than his other patients, who weren’t demonstrating cardio problems.
My dad died suddenly of CAD at 67. Other patients may not have had a family history of cardio problems. I may have been among his first.
I think it simply slipped under all our radars, and maybe ... I’d been a little bit in denial.
I hope my case contributed to a change in thinking.
Do you believe that angiograms and other deep heart studies should be the standard of care for all HIV/AIDS patients?
I do.
I think if you’re newly infected, or very young, and your numbers are quite good, then perhaps it could be delayed for a while. But, as one ages, and numbers begin to change, then yes. I think a baseline screening would be very helpful in the continuing management of the virus.
In the long run, however, I think that angiograms and deep heart studies should be standard of care for all HIV/AIDS people at some point in the treatment process.
You’ve said that the man who came out of surgery was subtlety different than the man who went in. Your life changed. Could you elaborate on that?
It happens when you have a brush with death that close. I mean we dance with death every time we cross the street, but we handle that as a second nature.
In open heart surgery, though, your body is strangely alert, but you see from another place.
You go somewhere else. You’re on a heart/lung machine. Your body does not operate on its own. You are, essentially, an artificial life all throughout the procedure.
When you emerge you’re enlightened in a way. It’s sort of like being in on a meaningful secret.
I believe everyone comes out of it changed in much the same way.
I look at you and see a healthy, vital man. You had to have implemented some lifestyle changes. Tell me about that.
There are the most obvious things, diet, exercise, stress reduction. My entire medical team, from my primary to my cardiologist, plus my partner (who also is HIV/AIDS), and me worked on tailoring my meds, and my life, so they hopefully won’t do that again, and yet control my advancing HIV.
The other things about lifestyle changes are very personal, and not obvious to anyone else.
I often tell people that every day is a gift. I’ve always seen it that way. But, now it’s more precious and dear to me. I think about it as soon as I wake up every morning.
‘I get another day. I get another day.’
You were shaken to your core when this happened. Tell me how you came out of that. Were you filled with fright?
No, oddly enough. I can be frightened by many things, some as small as a bug crawling on the floor, but a kind of calm took over. I was never afraid.
I glimpsed the other side and it was good over there, but here is good, too, and living my full time is as important to me as it is to everybody.
Angels come into our lives when we face this kind of thing. Tell me about that. Who were your angels?
The first one was in recovery. A nurse, her name is Heather.
She knew that my spirit needed as much attention as my body. I can’t explain it.
She took all of it off my tired shoulders and made me laugh … and love her.
She probably doesn’t even know she’s an angel. Maybe that’s why she gets to be one.
Then there’s my partner. I’m not going to call him an angel. He might get a big head. I don’t want to say he’s been sympathetic, though he is, but he mostly gives me strength and understanding, which is probably exactly what I need.
How about your current cardiac care? Are you confident that you’re being well treated?
I was very lost in the beginning. I knew nothing, and I found it difficult to access the kind of information I really needed.
My primary care physician referred me to probably the best cardiologist in our area, who’d come out of a restless retirement to work with my HMO Aging Well group.
He’s an angel for sure. He understands hearts both ways, physically and spiritually.
His methods defy everyday explanation. He’s the sort of man who will look you square in the face, ask a couple of casual questions, and know instinctively what’s troubling you. I’m a worrier, but he gives me calm.
He’s a wonderful human. He’s made all the difference in my recovery.
I am proud to call him my doctor and my friend.
What do you think the future holds for you?
Well, you know, there was very little damage to my heart. Most of my troubles were plaque and veins. I have a good shot at living an almost normal life span.
But, I was given this for a reason. I won’t say a second chance, but given a continuing life for a purpose outside myself.
And, it isn’t just so I could be happy and run around and do all the silly things I used to do.
Of course, I can do those things. Probably to a certain extent, I will.
But, I think that now, my life is more directed toward helping, as opposed to being helped.
I hear, as we talk, that you view your heart as having two sides. The physical and the emotional, loving side. Are both being fulfilled?
Yes, very well. The physical and emotional, or better put, the spiritual, sides are so close in me that they pretty much blend into one great whole. I’m a very fortunate guy.
Do I expect they will continue to be so? No.
I expect both will get even better.
Very quickly, what message would you send to other D.A.P. clients?
Try not to view life-trials as strictly negative things.
Find the good in them, because there is something to be gained in every setback or loss.
Living in fear, or dread, or unending sorrow is being dead. Don’t give in to that.
You should live, try to stay healthy, and give from your heart.
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Please bear in mind that Dennis cannot suggest or refer other patients to his medical care team. He is a wealth of information on HIV/AIDS related coronary heart disease, however, and will be pleased to hear your comments or answer questions. Contact him at DAPCAN@DesertAIDSProject.org. (lg)
